Great Things Require Work - Your Marriage is Worth Fighting For

For the past couple years, things between me and my spouse were not terrible, but there was definitely something missing.  Our arguments became more and more frequent, and we started to grow further and further apart.  The love was always there -  at least what I was capable of sharing, but something was off, and I wasn't ready or willing to acknowledge it.

I remember conversations with my best friend where she begged me to go to God, talk to the bishop or find a way to get over my darkness, but I was so filed with the pride and lies that God hated me that even if I went to Him, He wouldn’t help me. This was such a terrible feeling, down deep inside I knew that God was the only one that could help me but I felt like I couldn't go to him. If felt trapped and I remember knowing that I needed to change but felt powerless to do it on my own.

I also remember feeling very disappointed in myself because I wanted a better life for my children. I wanted them to  grow up knowing their Father in Heaven and having a relationship with the Savior, and I wanted them to have the strength so that they could find it on their own. But I knew it couldn’t be me to teach them. This one of the moments in my life where I knew that I wasn't keeping my temple covenants and that I was failing as a priesthood holder, a husband and a father. I had let my pride and these secrets pull me away from the light and everything that was good in my life.

On the second page of the LDS Addiction Recovery Program manual, it says

“…begin by acknowledging your unwillingness to be free from your addition, and considering the cost of it on your life. Look at your family and social relationships, your relationship to God, your spiritual strength, your ability to help and bless others, your health.” 

These are signs that I know my best friend saw in me and that I eventually saw in myself. Look for these in your companion, help him/her recognize these contradictions between what they believe in and hope for and their behavior.

It is my hope that I help you see some of the signs of addition that I experienced so that you can reach out to your spouse and stop the abuse before it is too late. 😢

#LDSARP #Hope#Love #Relationships #Faith #Marriage#Support #Addiction #Recovery#FightForLove #fightAgainstPorn#PornKillsLove #WorthFightingFor#ItsNotTooLate