I misspoke in my last video. The truth is when you let your behaviors and addictions control your life as I did, the answer is - no the pain doesn't go away.
What hurts the most is when you get glimpses of the situation and life that you left your spouse and kids in. When you start to see what you have done to them, no the pain doesn't go away.
Before your came to this earth, you promised your Father in Heaven that you would love and cherish you spouses and provide a safe haven for children at any cost. You promised Him that you would teach them to be good, honest, pure and show them what they need to do to return to Him someday. So if you do fail, and break these promises to God and your family - you may find it really difficult to find peace.
I wish I could be there and help my family, I wish I could help them heal but I can't. It not my place and no matter how many apologizes or tears I shed, I have to find a way to accept that because I am the one that caused the destruction, I can't be the one to help them heal. And it's kills me knowing this.
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